poem of the day 02.20.23

organic assholes

the organic assholes
are making a big show of it
in the chain supermarket line

they’re acting like aliens
they’re acting like they have to slum

at least they have self-checkout machines in here,
one of them says sarcastically

and i laugh as they get out of line
because the self-checkout machines
in this joint are always broken

what pedestrian bullshit, they say, getting back in line

do you even ever really shop here?
one organic asshole asks the other

um…no, the organic asshole says
would i shop somewhere that has no cauliflower rice
no pre-made salads and no craft brew?

i mean they sell kraft products here!

and they laugh at that

the organic assholes are holding something dewy and green
that i don’t recognize

collard greens, one organic asshole says to the cashier
even though she didn’t ask

we’re making a brisket tonight
and we just had to have collard greens

but there’s no farmer’s market until the weekend
and trader joe’s let us down so…

the cashier nods and says nothing

do you know how i make mine?
the organic asshole asks the cashier

she shrugs

with bacon, vinegar and garlic, he says

only local sourced pork, the other organic asshole adds
then she holds up cheap chocolate bars
and they both snicker at them

it’s my mother’s recipe, the organic asshole says

cool, that’ll be $2.95 the cashier says

of course, the organic asshole pays with a credit card

um…we don’t need a bag,
the other organic asshole says to the cashier

and she takes the wet collard greens out of a plastic bag
holding them up like a dozen roses

before the two organic assholes
walk out of the grocery store like the prom king and queen
over to their waiting cockapoo mix

as the cashier picks up the sopping plastic bag
and throws it away.