Poem of the day 01.31.23

passage

the girl
on the evening bus

is wearing a brown mini
and a white fur coat
that doesn’t cover her stomach

she has on beige fuck-me boots
that almost reach her knees

i notice her because of all of this

and because she’s the only one on this bus
not dower and gray
from another waste of our only hours

and girl?

she’s probably thirty
but what do i know at my age?

thirty deserves a cradle and a bib

there’s a woman standing next to me
she’s eyeing up the girl

not seductively

just the usual menace and hate
that we reserve for the beautiful people

the woman catches me looking at the girl

when our eyes meet
there’s nothing in them but disgust

and i realize the passage of time
has pissed in her cornflakes this morning too

its sad to come across random beauty
like its sad to be crammed on an evening bus
with the stark realization that you’re growing old

i’ve always said
i would rather pass through this life
attractive and dumb
than living the examined life

but i realize at my age now
i’d just be left with dumb

and i never looked good in boots

so that woman can keep her hateful stare

and the girl in the mini skirt
fuck-me boots
and a white fur coat that doesn’t cover her stomach

she could be a goddamned roads scholar
for all the i know

some people are blessed the whole way around

the rest of us do what we can
to pass the hours

we lie and tell ourselves
it’s a beautiful day to be alive

and that the cracks in our mirrors
aren’t doing their damndest

to try and deceive us
too.